


Space and My Bed; Two Places Nobody can Hear you Shout

by Spiralled_Fury



Series: A Wider Universe (Series) [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Adam is a mood, Adam speaks Spanish, Adam's a disaster, Adam-Centric, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Based on a Tumblr Post, Boyfriends, Butts, Carrying, Comedy, Coming Out, Domestic Fluff, Drugs, Galaxy Garrison, Gay Panic, God Tier, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, JUST REGRETTO, Look at this I wrote something funny, M/M, Memes, Mentions of Sex, Oblivious Keith (Voltron), Oblivious Shiro (Voltron), Pining, Shiro (Voltron) Can't Cook, Shiro (Voltron) is a Mess, So dumb, Swearing, Tags Are Hard, The Author Regrets Everything, This Is STUPID, Tumblr Memes, Vines, Wii remotes in bad places, You might recognize a few, fuck yeah, so much of this is based off posts, sometiems, sometimes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-09-25 15:32:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17124005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spiralled_Fury/pseuds/Spiralled_Fury
Summary: By the time Adam West went home for Christmas from the Garrison, at the ripe old age of 17, he was certain of precisely two things in the world.Number one; Vector angles sucked. Hard.Number two; Takashi Shirogane was undeniably, irrefutably, immutably hot. And not like, Leonardo DiCaprio hot, either. Chris Evans from the old superhero movies hot.This is his story.





	1. Remember, if you Don’t Have a Gay Cousin, you are the Gay Cousin

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Basically a Secret Agent](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15794013) by [CaffeinatedFlumadiddle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaffeinatedFlumadiddle/pseuds/CaffeinatedFlumadiddle). 



> M e r r y p h u c k i n g C h r i s t m a S. 
> 
> I’ve partaken of the alcohol tonight, im read tto rumble. 
> 
> Happy holidays, whatever u celebrate, and enjoy ur presents and this fic.
> 
> It’s so stupid. 
> 
> Inspired a bit by 'Basically a Secret Agent' by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle. 
> 
> Their series is great, read it.
> 
> This series is the end result of S8, my Adashi feels, and memes.
> 
> Fuck off, sleep and everything else.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam, simplified.

By the time Adam West went home for Christmas from the Garrison, at the ripe old age of 17, he was certain of precisely two things in the world.   
  
Number one; Vector angles sucked. Hard.   
  
Number two; Takashi Shirogane was undeniably, irrefutably, immutably hot. And not like, Leonardo DiCaprio hot, either. Chris Evans from the old superhero movies hot.   
  
Adam liking boys had been a thing for a while. At least, to Adam himself it had. Guys were hot, girls were... not the same kind of hot.   
  
Not that anyone knew what went on in his head.   
  
“So, how’s school?”   
  
Adam’s attention was dragged back to his father, who glanced at him from the corner of his eye. The man was still in his suit, for God’s sake, showing up on the campus like that.   
  
Whatever. Dillon West called that suit his ‘cloth prison’, and Adam agreed. Though, his ass looked good in uniform. His roommates had reassured him of that.   
  
“Well, vectors can officially suck my ass, but other than that, it’s good. My one roommate’s only a _bit_ of a cu-“   
  
His dad coughed into his hand.   
  
“Oh right. We all think, ‘oh yeah,’” Adam began in a silly voice, mocking his one teacher who he refused to name - Iverson - with the tone. “‘The Garrison is so professional, they must sound prim and proper and drink their tea with pinkies up’,” His dad chuckled. “We think that, so we all forget that it’s still a military base and everyone swears like a fucking, sorry, _freaking_ sailor.”   
  
“Jesus, Adam. Your mother better not hear that.” His dad laughed.   
  
“Oh she has no idea.” Adam brushed it off. “Let her think what she wants. At least I’m not smoking weed with my roommate every Friday.” He shrugged.   
  
“Thank God for that...” His father murmured. “If you did, we’d lose that terrifying personality.”   
  
Rolling his eyes, Adam pushed his dad’s shoulder. “You suck. I’m going to jump out of this car now.”   
  
“Ok. Bye.” Dillon said, not even looking at the teenager.   
  
They sat in silence for a few moments.   
  
“Are you gone yet?”   
  
Adam laughed. He had missed this.   


* * *

  
  
His duffel and suitcase were brought into the large, rather normal house, so far not burned down. “Good mooooooooorning everyone!” He shouted, as loud as he could.   
  
“Oh wonderful, you’re back.” Tori’s voice came from the kitchen. “Back again to multiply my dating chances, because you’re just _so gorgeous, you mother-_ ”   
  
“Eight times zero is still zero, Tori!” Adam sing-songed as a lean, brown-haired girl with pale skin for their family appeared around the corner.   
  
“First off, you’re a penis.” Tori told him with a glare. “Second... welcome home.” After a firm hug, she punched his shoulder gently. “Good to have you back in the _fray_.”   
  
“I’m gonna kick your ass at Mario Kart.” Adam snarled, grinning.   
  
She opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted by Cameron screeching, “ADAM’S BACK!”   
  
“Cam, I swear to Christ, if you have a joy buzzer, I will use my combat training on you!”   
  
Something was placed on a table as the pale-haired boy ran out. He was less tan than his black-haired sister and brother, but he was still more tan than most.   
  
“You’re back!” Cam hugged his brother as Adam laughed, shaking his head. “I haven’t been able to pull one over mom without you!”   
  
Adam grimaced slightly at the absolute lack of dominance in this household. “Do you remember nothing that I taught you?”   
  
“Nope!” Cam exclaimed. “Jackson hasn’t either!” He said as his twin emerged.   
  
_This is the timeline God abandoned.._. Adam thought, wincing.   
  
“Is that my eldest son?” The husky former smoker’s voice of his mother came from the kitchen.   
  
Marie West was a shorter woman, but she had the same attitude as the Cuban grandmother who raised her. It made her seem a lot larger than she was, helping that whole ‘terrifying all-knowing being of every sin that Adam committed in the house’ image that childhood him had.   
  
“Yes, it is!” Adam called back, just as she rounded the corner.   
  
“Look at you!” She announced. Her accent had been gone for a lot of years, but she still had it occasionally. Apparently, staring at Adam in his full uniform was one such time. “So grown up!”   
  
“Uh, thanks.” Adam said replied as he was pulled into a crushing hug. “Missed you too, mom.”   
  
When Marie finally stepped back, holding her son at arm’s length to see his outfit better, and smiled. “It is so nice to see you in proper outfit.”   
  
“Oh God, I’m not wearing pants this entire winter vacation.” Adam groaned, dropping his head back. “It’s all sweatpants and... booty shorts, for me. Whole time.”   
  
His mother glared. “I will not allow you to do that.”   
  
“Mom, I am literally within a year of being 18. I graduated to Advance Cadet with my class.” Adam twisted his head to lazily stare at her. “I should be allowed to not wear pants this vacation.”   
  
“It’s only five days.” Dillon said, and Adam flashed him a thumbs up. “What could go wrong?”   


* * *

  
  
Because Adam’s life was a disaster, everything. Everything could go wrong.   
  
He had been spending a _very_ lovely morning sleeping in - in his childhood bedroom where his low bed with the soft mattress still felt like God Himself was massaging Adam’s legs and spine - when he started hearing his siblings talking.   
  
“...’ll be cool. It’s heavy enough to fly straight.”   
  
“Bet.”   
  
“You throw it then, bitch.”   
  
_What are they going on-_   
  
Which was when a silvery _javelin_ flew through his door and hit the side of his bed with an almighty clang. Adam jumped and slammed his back against the wall, heart thumping in his chest as he stared at the thing that had been less than two inches from shooting through his head. Immediately, he snapped his gaze up, eyes wide at wherever it had come from.   
  
Through the inch wide, circular hole punched like a cookie cutter through his door, he caught sight of Tory, arm extended like she had just thrown something with her eyes wide. Behind her, Jackson and Cameron stared with stunned, disbelieving gazes.   
  
“What the everloving _fuck_ -” Adam began, scrambling to stand up.   
  
“Jesus, Adam, clothes!”   
  
“YOU THREW YOUR JAVELIN THROUGH MY DOOR!”   
  
“IT’S NOT A JAVELIN!”   
  
He picked it up. It was not a javelin, despite being used like one.   
  
“Is this dad’s fucking _golf club_ , what the actual fuck you absolute asshats-“   


* * *

  
  
Adam had never expected to be sat on the chairs of shame again, but there he was. _Should’ve taken Rowan and Casey’s offer. Stayed at the Garrison for Christmas. Made some excuse._   
  
“Mom, I’m the victim here-“   
  
“You swore in this household, Adam Justin West!” Marie shouted, glaring at him. “You’re just as much at fault as the others!”   
  
Adam winced at his full name, but ploughed forward. “I had a _sharp pole_ shot through my door from where I had been _peacefully sleeping_ -”   
  
“Just because you are nearly 18 young man does not mean you can habla con tu madre de esta manera! Porque yo-“   
  
He only buried his face in his hands as the Spanish started. _This is why I live on-campus._   


* * *

  
  
When the cousins arrived that same day, it only got worse.   
  
Donnie was always cool, and thank God for that. He was nearly 25 now, and a surgeon. He was a tall guy, broad shoulders, who looked a lot like Adam himself, with darker hair. He brought his fiancé Elise, who seemed quite kind and soft.   
  
Adam felt like Donnie was the one person aside from Uncle Quentin - coincidentally, Donnie’s father - who was proof that Adam was born into the Thompson family, his mother’s side. And wasn’t, y’know, stolen. As a child. Because that would make more sense.   
  
That was where the similarities ended though.   
  
Mary and Alice were pale, one with black hair and one with red hair. They were both 15, getting taller, though Alice seemed to have stagnated. However, boxing training had apparently made her thicker than toothpick-shaped Adam.   
  
Alice was also the main reason why Adam would be careful if he ever dated a redhead; they were _batshit_. Perfect, until they murdered you for a minor inconvenience.   
  
Marcus, John and Robert were all under 13, which was how old Adam’s younger, twin brothers were.   
  
In a way, they made their own recipe.   
  
Put five preteen and new-teen boys in a room. Wait.   
  
They’d blow it up.   
  
“Hey, _Cadet West!”_   
  
Adam spun around with a grin, immediately enveloped in a thick hug and a rib-cracking pat on the back. “Uncle Quin!”   
  
“Lookin’ good!” Uncle Quin was a big man, seemed a bit like a lumberjack at first glance, but was actually an engineer. Who happened to enjoy woodworking, camping, and occasionally shooting animals.   
  
It was his fault Adam liked hunting, honestly.   
  
“I look good in anything.” Adam smirked. Tori groaned, shaking her head at the booty shorts that Adam found he could still squeeze into.   
  
Uncle Quin laughed. “How’s the Garrison treating you?” He grinned.   
  
“I’m not allowed to shoot the animals.” Adam shrugged. “By which I mean, everyone under the age of 13.”   
  
“Wow.” Quin shook his head. “Sounds rough. Wanna go practice shooting down at the range later?”   
  
“That’d be great.”   


* * *

  
  
Adam’s car was one of the new Chevrolet Impalas, built about two decades before. Number one thing about older cars; if it could run by the time it was old enough to drink, it wasn’t going to die.   
  
And that car had seen many, many things, after arriving at the Garrison.   
  
Adam had his first kiss in that car. Adam hit his first pole with that car. Adam realized he was _gay_. In that car.   
  
Speaking of which, he had to talk to Uncle Quin about that. The one person in his family he actually hoped would understand.   
  
He waited until they were checked into the range, had their guns, and had sat around for a while shooting before even thinking of what to say. _How do I even explain this_? Adam asked as he missed another bullseye, swearing. _’Sup, Uncle Quin, hi, so one thing I realized while preparing to get my ass yote into space is that I really like ass. Guy’s ass._   
  
Adam didn’t even notice Uncle Quin was behind him until he cursed again, standing up as he had missed his final shot. None of the ten bullets he had fired had gone within the second ring, and honestly? It was starting to get irritating.   
  
“What’s‘ahmatter today, Adam? Can’t shoot straight?” Uncle Quin joked.   
  
“Quin, I can’t even _be_ straight. My life is in shambles.” Adam deadpanned.   
  
The taller man blinked at him in shock. And then Adam realized what he said.   
  
_Welp. This is how I die. I pray the reaper will arrive for my appointment early._ The cadet thought, keeping a straight, level face.   
  
“...Adam...” The word was low-said, and Adam was literally about to die. “Is this you coming out?”   
  
The younger blinked for a moment, carefully lowering his rifle to the table. “Um...” _Holy shit let me DIE._   
  
“I’m... so... Proud of you! Adam, that takes serious balls!” The man was grinning. With a hand on Adam’s shoulder. He expected a serious conversation. What the fuck. “I’m glad that you felt confident enough to come out to me.” He patted Adam’s shoulder, then turned and walked off whistling, getting more ammunition.   
  
Adam was 100% deadstopped. His brain was doing that old iPhone loading circle, when the phones could still fit in one hand. Or even better, he felt like he was doing that horrific, truly ancient internet grinding beep.   
  
But Quin was moving on, so Adam shrugged. _Fuck it._   
  
He got more ammunition, and went back to shooting.   
  
And that was where it all started going downhill.   


* * *

  
  
Adam arrived back on campus on Sunday, and he was glad for it. He could only hold in his gay jokes for so long, and he was reaching his point.   
  
Plus, he had made one too many depressed jokes, and now people were giving him weird looks.   
  
When he knocked on his dorm door, he heard something smash, and then a bitten off ‘shit.’   
  
A shorter boy, with caramel and gold hair, threw the door open. Rowan was still in his sweatpants without a shirt, showing off the fact that he was built like fucking Adonis. His hair was rucked into some sort of half-nest thing, clearly having been napping.   
  
He stepped back and leaned into the dorm. “Our second favourite twink is back!” He shouted as Adam stepped inside.   
  
“Welcome back, silver medal.” A blond boy, aka first favourite twink, aka Ben, offered a fist-bump over the back of the couch.   
  
Adam gave him the requested fist-bump, then flipped him off. “Fight me, Ben.”   
  
“So, how is the West clan?” Casey asked. Their dorms were mixed, or at least the ones Adam were in were, so she was the one girl in an entire box room of boys. She had offers to move out, but never took them.   
  
Something about having Adam and Ben lie by her feet like leopards with Rowan acting as bodyguard for her while on her throne of swords.   
  
“Still weird. Day one wake-up call was almost getting stabbed with a golf club through the eye.” Adam tossed his duffel halfway down the hall, then fell over backward into the vaguely stained grey loveseat. His spine curved neatly into the crease he had left in it from actual years of doing the exact same thing.   
  
Snorting slightly, Rowan shook his head. “That’s it?”   
  
“I came out to my uncle and he was chill so basically I’m good to get myself some dick.” Adam shrugged, feet hanging over the arm of the couch as he absentmindedly kicked his shoes off.   
  
Casey nodded. “We go to the of age student’s lounge literally the day you can.”   
  
“Spectacular.” Adam agreed. “Hey _BEN_!” He shouted into the kitchen. “How was your holiday?!”   
  
“Well, I did make one too many death jokes and my aunt asked if I wanted antidepressants!” Ben called back.   
  
The long-limbed cadet blew out air. “Serotonin? In this economy? While I’m _single_?”   
  
“Good point.” Ben came inside the main room, carrying a bowl. He walked over to Adam and slapped his head. “Up.”   
  
“Ugh, fuck off.”   
  
“I’m not tangling with Casey.” Ben stated. “And either you let me sit, or you don’t get any chips.”   
  
“Better have brought enough for everyone.” Casey said, holding out a hand for a Dorito. After she received, then ate her chip, she plucked a slim box from her pocket. A thin, white object found it’s way between her lips, one tossed onto Benny’s lap, and she settled back. “Thanks Benny.”   
  
“Oh, wait, guys.” Adam lay back down, head now on his friend’s lap. “I got a vintage Wii.”   
  
“You got a _what_.” Rowan snapped, staring at him.   
  
Casey removed her candy stick from between her teeth. “You didn’t _open_ with that!? Get the fuck out!”   
  
“Please tell me it wasn’t in the duffel bag you threw down the hall.” Ben said, putting the bowl of chips on Adam’s head.   
  
Adam turned, glaring up at the other dorm twink. “What level of dense do you take me for? Iverson level?” He asked, then twisted back to the other couch. “Casey, can you get us booze?”   
  
“We’re about to play the archaic game of Wii Sports, and you’re asking _me_ to bring intoxicants?” Casey inquired.   
  
“Well duh. How else are we playing Wii Sports?” Adam shrugged.   
  
A few moments of silence.   
  
“Yeah, gimme fifteen.” She nodded, standing up and crunching the end off her candy stick. On her way out, she grabbed the commander’s hat she had stolen a few months ago, put it on so the brim was backward, and stepped into the hall.   
  
Adam got up and took his suitcase apart, getting the Wii set up slowly. “Rowan...” He whined, flopping lazily onto the floor. “Come do this for me.”   
  
The requested person slid over and took one look. “Adam you useless gay, you need an HDMI port connector.” Rowan sighed, standing up to go get the item.   
  
_Brilliant. Gorgeous. A perfect engineer for any crew._ Adam thought toward Rowan. _Despite being a cock._ “You’re actually awful.” Adam said as Rowan plugged it in. “Why can’t you be nice to me? I’m single and I’ll die with 30 cats, eating my corpse.”   
  
“Go get a guy.” Rowan shrugged. “It’s not that hard.”   
  
“Is it now? Because the particular guy that Adam has his eye on is hitting levels of ignorant that only Adam himself surpasses.” Ben said.   
  
“Fuck you.” Adam groaned, laying a hand on his face. “I’m gonna kick your ass at bowling.”   
  
“You can try.”   


* * *

 

Adam might have been in the Garrison, but he was slightly drunk, knew he was in big trouble, and he had exactly _one_ call.   
  
So he called the one person he knew would always come to his aid.   
  
“Mhh... It’s... two in the morning? Who is this?”   
  
“Commander Hartway?” Adam said wearily. Beside him, in the waiting chair, Casey snickered.   
  
There was a pause.   
  
“Adam, I swear to God, please never call me at this hour again. I’m hanging up.”   
  
Adam let out a panicked scream. “Please don’t! I only get one call! Hartway I’m too pretty for jail!”   
  
Another, pregnant silence.   
  
“Wait.” Commander Hartway began slowly. “...Did you get _arrested_?”   
  
“Not... exactly.” Adam said, struggling to explain this situation to his favourite teacher and best friend. “...I’m still in the Garrison.”   
  
“Oh thank Christ.” She exhaled. “What the hell did you blow up?”   
  
His hand gripped the phone until he could hear the outer plastic pieces groaning a tiny bit. “I... _there’saWii’moteinmyass_.” He said in defeat.   
  
“What?” Commander Hartway said. “Speak up. Say it slower, Adam, for those of us not under 20 and formerly asleep.”   
  
He sighed, straightened himself slightly, which involved a questionable amount of hip-shuffling on the wedge pillow. Huffing, he tensed one hand on the blanket, and repeated. “ _There is a Wii remote. In. My. Ass._ ” Adam half-shouted. The medic over in the corner was either crying or laughing, Adam couldn’t tell. He couldn’t see the dickbag’s face. _If you must mock me, mock me to the Wii remote in my ass._   
  
“...Adam.” Commander Hartway said with painful stiffness. “... _why_ is there a _Wii remote_ in your ass?”   
  
“Because Ben and I decided to have a contest.” He stated, because contests answered everything. “I’m in room 104 of the Garrison Med Bay, can you come sign me out? ‘Kay thanks bye~...”   
  
Then he slapped down the phone just as he heard the snap of rubber gloves. “I hope you used lube, buddy.” The med guy said. A student. A student who’s inexperienced hand was two inches from _Adam’s gorgeous ass._   
  
“You damage my ass, you will pay damages.” Adam promised.   
  
“You’ll be lucky if this Wii remote doesn’t damage your ass.” The student replied flippantly.   
  
Turned out, the asshole medic was laughing earlier.   


* * *

  
  
The next morning, Adam assumed that Hartway had forgiven him because of the way he was limping, taking pity on her favourite student. He still got up _early_ to go off-base for Starbucks, and bought her one of those horrifically sugary, over-saturated vanilla poison things she liked.   
  
He placed it on her desk, on time for once. She glanced up at that, over her glasses through tired eyes. Adam shifted foot to foot, trying to relieve the ache. He was never putting an inanimate object up his ass ever again. Ever.   
  
Commander Hartway sighed, took the coffee, smelled it, then reached into her desk and handed him two painkillers. The big ones, or ‘hangover killers’ as Casey referred to them.   
  
“It’s flight partner day, who you get to be with for your advanced years.” Hartway hummed softly, taking a sip of the drink. “Your partner is at desk 7.”   
  
Which meant it was in the second row, probably to Hartway’s left, and-   
  
_No._   
  
Adam spun around, gaping at her, but she only smirked.   
  
“Please switch me.” He begged. “I will _literally_ do anything.”   
  
“Your servitude is tempting, but... Too late. I submitted the scans last night.” Hartway purred. She never submitted the scans day before. Except for this one time. The bitch took another drink. “Thanks for the coffee, Adam.”   
  
And just like that, he was dismissed.   
  
In the back corner, Rowan and Ben stared at him, while Casey and her partner Lucas leaned back on their chairs, the former smirking at him. The last few students came in, came up to the desk, asked who their partners were, and left.   
  
Adam could only stare at Hartway, until he realized there was no way out of this one.   
  
Cowed, he turned around and limped to his seat, beside _Takashi. Fucking. Shirogane._   
  
Did he mention how his life was a disaster?   
  
Not only did he need to do a walk of shame - pardon, _shuffle_ \- to his desk, but he was also somehow sitting beside the cutest person in the fucking school.   
  
Adam settled into his seat with an involuntary groan, immediately pulling out his waterbottle and throwing back the pills.   
  
“Everyone, take ten minutes to talk to your new flight partner. You’ll be working with them for the next little while.” Hartway’s eyes gleamed. “However, it’s not mandatory that you even become friends, but you do need to know what your goal is in a ship, so just don’t kill each other. I’m going to get water.” With that, she stood up, and headed out.   
  
Adam turned slowly toward Shiro, trying to keep the wince off his face. _C’mon, please drugs. Work. Faster. Dirty magic. Please._ He thought.   
  
“Hi!” Shiro said, grinning, then held out a hand. “I’m Takashi. Most people call me Shiro though.”   
  
“Takashi’s fine!” Adam smiled back, trying not to explode. “I’m Adam. Just Adam.”   
  
Shiro nodded. “Good to meet you.” He said. Adam shifted his weight, and suddenly felt like the walls waved inward. “So, do you want to actually hang out, or-“   
  
“Yeah, that’d be sweet.” Adam said, grabbing the table to stabilize himself. _What the hell..?_   
  
“So, I can give you my number.” Shiro put his phone on the table, Adam barely managing to pull himself together enough to put his beside Shiro’s. The cutie’s phone was simple, with a simple black and white edging. “So, we could hang out, after school maybe. Talk a bit. I think teammates should know each other, if that’s ok.”   
  
“Yeah.” Adam nodded, taking his phone back. “Yeah, good friends are a good team. A-after school...”   
  
Everything felt off, floor tipping underneath him. _What the hell was going on?_   
  
“Adam? Are you ok?” Shiro questioned, shifting a little closer, those _pretty eyes_ and _nice lips_ and everything about him was _perfect_ and oh God. Adam was done for.   
  
He had that thought, right before he passed out, and fell over backward.   


* * *

  
  
It was hours later, waking up in a hospital bed. “Wait, hol’ on...” Adam mumbled, feeling like he was drunk. Not fun-drunk either, more like that one day he had chugged cherry vodka that his dad had told him was terrible and he could try.   
  
“Whoa, Adam!” Casey’s voice came from practically on top of him. “Adam, relax!”   
  
“Wh’t the h’ll?” Adam asked slowly. His head was stuffed with cotton. Had he actually talked to Takashi Shirogane?   
  
“Adam, calm down.” Casey ordered, and nobody defied Casey. Adam relaxed.   
  
“Wh’t the hell happened?” He questioned, reaching up and gently rubbing his face.   
  
“Hartway gave you the wrong pills and way too much.” Casey explained. Adam’s heart dropped to his toes.   
  
“Is she in trouble?”   
  
“I’m fine, Adam.” Hartway walked in, sighing. “Really, really, extra sorry though.”   
  
Adam smiled at her, shutting his eyes. “What did you even _hit_ me with? Worst drug trip ever.”   
  
“Ambien. Sorry.” Hartway said sheepishly.   
  
“Why do you have Ambien in your desk?” Adam questioned slowly.   
  
“Why did you have a Wii remote in your ass?” Hartway returned.   
  
There was a few seconds of silence as Adam’s brain sped up enough to consider that. “...Good point.”   
  
For a while, the other two shut up and Adam got back to trying to go back to sleep.   
  
“Oh, also...” Casey began, smirk audible. “I feel like you’d like to know that Shiro was the one who got you to the hospital. _Bridal style_.”   
  
That took even longer to register, but when it did...   
  
“Are you telling me that Takashi fucking Shirogane _carried me bridal style_ and I wasn’t awake to _experience it_ oh _Jesus fucking Christ-_ ”   


* * *

  
  
Within two days, Adam was certain of three things regarding one Takashi Shirogane.   
  
Number one; Takashi literally got attached to anything. A piece of lint in his pocket, a picture of a dog, or, apparently, Adam. The guy had no friends, it seemed.   
  
Number two; Takashi was all that was good and pure in this world. No other explanation for how he acted.   
  
Number three; Takashi was undeniably, irrefutably, immutably a dumbass.   
  
“Adam!” The teen shrieked, just in time for a small explosion to go up in the beaker beside him.   
  
Adam caught the full force of the blast, covered ear to hip in ash, as he spun to glare at Takashi, staring uselessly at the black-smudged beaker in his tongs.   
  
“Why the fuck are you even _in_ chemistry?! You can’t cook!”   
  
“Why would chemistry be like cooking?” Shiro asked softly.   
  
“Oh my fucking-“   


* * *

  
“So, is Takashi gay?” Ben questioned when Adam finally came back to their dorm, dumping his bag on the ground.   
  
Heading to the couch and slumping on it, Adam shook his head. “I have _no idea_.” He mumbled. What was wrong with this? His gaydar was normally unquestionable.   
  
“Adam, Adam, thank God, Adam, Ben, c’mere.” Casey said rapidly as she ran inside. “Kiss me when that one bitch comes by.” She ordered Adam, pulling Ben to her side.   
  
“What the fuck, Casey? I’m gonna die alone and you want my last sexual interaction to be with a chick?”   
  
Casey glared at him. “Name your price.”   
  
“An upgraded laptop, Doom, Undertale, and Dream Daddy.” Adam stated.   
  
“Done.”   
  
Just as some unidentified bitch ran around the corner with a bitchy expression, Casey pulled him down for a kiss.   
  
Now, Adam was not into chicks. No. This experience was _actively making him gayer_. But out of loyalty, Adam didn’t look disgusted at Casey when she finally pushed him back a bit. “Do you mind?” Casey snarled at the girl in the doorway. “I’m trying to enjoy a snack here.”   
  
The girl blinked, taken aback, before she nodded a few times, stepped away, and vanished.   
  
When Rowan dipped into the dorm, shut and locked the door, Casey finally let him go. “I am so fucking sorry.”   
  
“What the hell?” Adam demanded.   
  
“Well, it’s official, you’re a pimp Casey. Congrats.” Rowan said, leaning on the couch.   
  
Silence for a few moments.   
  
“I go over to Shiro’s _empty dorm_ for two hours and you’ve somehow managed to fuck up everything!”   
  
“You’re never allowed to leave us again.”   


* * *

  
  
Adam was sat on the couch, with his slightly used but better than he had laptop, tapping out keys to play Undertale. Kinky the fallen child was currently in Papyrus’ bedroom, on a date with Adam’s favourite bubbly skeleton.   
  
“Adam, we have a problem.” Ben announced as he walked inside, shoving the door shut.   
  
_I’m too gay for inconvenience._ “I have a problem, and it’s someone bugging me while I’m playing Undertale.” Adam replied, uncaring.   
  
“Adam, we’re basically hoes.” Ben stated. The fact was obvious.   
  
Not seeing the point, Adam paused his game, turning around. “I know that. Why is this a problem?”   
  
“Adam, there’s shit going around that Casey is a pimp.”   
  
Silence for a moment.   
  
“...As in...”   
  
Sitting next to him, Ben sighed, rubbing his forehead. “...It’s said that we’re... well, we’re being paid for this shit.”   
  
“That’s... like, fucking groundless.” Adam said. Because it really was. Adam was a hoe regardless, as was Ben, and they were both very good at school. No reason for that kind of shit to be spread. Adam would do it for free, providing the person was hot.   
  
Though, money would be nice...   
  
“Adam, you’re playing Undertale, on Casey’s old laptop. That she gave you after you kissed her.”   
  
Turning back to his game, Adam realized that yes, indeed, he had given a service in exchange for money.   
  
“...This is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”   
  
“Adam _no_ -”   


* * *

  
  
Turned out, being a hoe for the most feared ‘pimp’ in school was not a shitty gig.   
  
First bonus? Adam could officially walk anywhere on campus and be feared.   
  
Second bonus? Casey kept buying him shit. Shit that he liked. That he had no idea where or how she got.   
  
Because the amount of stuff Adam knew about Casey could be summed in three points;   
  
One. She was older than Adam, by at least one year. Maybe two. She was in his class.   
  
Two. Nobody knew where she came from or where she went on certain, seemingly random weekends.   
  
Three. Casey had dated two boys and a girl.   
  
That was literally it.   
  
Yes, Adam did enjoy making mental lists.   
  
However, despite these terrifying things about his roommate, there was one particular student in school that had no idea Adam was supposedly a sex worker.   
  
Takashi. Fucking. Shirogane.   
  
“Do you ever just fuckin’... breathe oxygen?”   
  
“No, Adam... C’mon. We can study.” Shiro said, slapping a hand on the book, the highlighter still laced through his fingers.   
  
Pinching the end of the highlighter, Adam tugged it away and slid it behind his ear. “Nope.” He stated. Because Shiro could not want to study. How was that possible? “Can I use your bathtub?”   
  
“Why?” Shiro asked.   
  
“Study underwater so nobody can see your tears.”   
  
“Fuck’s sake...” Shiro dropped his head, shoulders shaking with mild laughter.   
  
“...ugh.” Adam muttered.   
  
“What? You don’t want to study and..?” Because apparently Shiro was good enough at reading him now that he knew what ‘ugh’ meant.   
  
“And it’s like nearly 11, so if I want to be inside at curfew, then I should go now, but I don’t wanna walk.” Adam explained, rolling onto his back to stare at Shiro.   
  
“...it’s Saturday.” Shiro began softly.   
  
“I’m aware of that,” Adam nodded. “and tomorrow I’m going to find a club that’ll let me in so I can twerk on-“   
  
“You could stay here.”   
  
Adam’s jaw clicked shut. “I-I mean, if that’s cool with you. That’d... be really nice.”   
  
The next morning, Adam decided that if he ever ended up dating Shiro, he’d buy earplugs.


	2. A Gun with a Rainbow Dash Cutie Mark On It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam and Shiro might actually start dating. God.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FUCK ME THIS IS STILL STUPID

It was next year, when Adam actually got his wish to date Shiro.   
  
Their previous year had gone well. Homecoming was coming up in the next few months. It was Adam’s personal goal to go out with Shiro at least once before then.    
  
He and Shiro had become rather close friends, but there was still a lack of understanding if this boy was gay or not.   
  
Well, Adam was nothing if not persistent. Well, he was also flamingly gay, but that aside...   
  
“Adam, holy _fuck_.” Shiro barked one day, bursting into his (thankfully empty) apartment.   
  
“I did not give you a _key_ so you could walk in on my morning coffee, Takashi.” Adam sighed, glancing back to the man now pacing his room.   
  
Shiro glared at him. “Adam, you don’t even like coffee that isn’t black.”   
  
“It’s Martian coffee.”   
  
“You’re disgusting.” Shiro said. “We graduate next year. You should be an adult.”   
  
“This implies I give a fuck about my reputation.” Adam sipped his hot water, with a few caffeine pills boiled into it. More caffeine than regular coffee. “I’m getting hired as a teacher, anyway.”    
  
“As am I, but we still need to do shit about that.” Shiro growled. “...I’m hungry.” He muttered after a moment. “And I need to take my meds.”   
  
“Yeah, fair enough.” Adam put his ‘coffee’ down. It tasted better than unsugared real coffee. “Wanna go to A&W?”   
  
Shiro, like a child stuffed into Apollo’s fucking _shredded_ body, shuffled his feet before glancing to Adam. “...Yes please.”   
  
“Let’s go then.”    
  
The walk was quiet, with them simply enjoying each other’s company as they headed down the walkway to the exit of the Garrison, Adam receiving a parking pass before they went out to the lot.    
  
“You know, you should remember your meds better.” Adam said seriously as they parked in front of the A&W. He was told that he got dark when he got serious, but he was fine with that.    
  
“I do remember them!” Shiro said indignantly. “I promise.”   
  
“Uh huh.” Adam muttered sceptically as they stepped into the A&W. “I need to go to the bathroom.”   
  
“Actually, I do too.” Shiro nodded, following Adam. “We can order afterward.”   
  
While Adam was washing his hands, Shiro took his meds. “Hey, Adam, I’ve got a question.” He said coolly.   
  
“Shoot.”   
  
“Well, I think you’re hot so... would you um... go on a date with me?”   
  
Adam’s hands went still. Oh _hell_ no.   
  
He was supposed to be the one who asked! Not Takashi! Not here!   
  
“Um...” Adam stared at Shiro, hopeful look dying on the other’s face.    
  
“Oh... Uh... Yeah, I guess I should’ve asked about um... you’re more... ‘miss me with that gay shit’, ok...”    
  
_ Oh God I made it WORSE- _   
  
“No, no no nonono Takashi!” Adam shot forward, grabbing Shiro’s shoulders. “Don’t miss me with that gay shit. Hit me with that gay shit. Destroy me with that gay shit. _Hydraulic press me_ with that gay shit.” He stated. “...Wait, do I give off a straight vibe?”   
  
“Um... no?”   
  
“Oh thank God.” Putting a hand to his chest, because he had just avoided a deadly blow, Adam kept the other hand on Shiro’s shoulder as he turned away to gasp. _If Takashi said I gave off a straight vibe, I might’ve combusted._ “Yes, fuck yes, I’ll go on a date with you.”   
  
Shiro grinned. “Yay!” He said in the cutest little voice.   
  
_I’m fucking gone_. Adam thought.   
  
“Uh, what day?” Shiro questioned. “I can do... like, Friday night.”    
  
“I wish.” Glancing away, Adam thought about his week. “...Saturday?”   
  
Shiro winced.    
  
They went by, passing dates back and forth, Adam realizing slowly that he hated every single evening activity he was ever forced to do.   
  
“Right now?” Shiro asked.   
  
A pause.    
  
Adam had nothing to do right then. He was already in town, had a total of thirty bucks in cash, was with the man he was supposed to be going on a date with...   
  
For a moment, the fact that he wasn’t in makeup, was wearing a four day old pair of pants and a Garrison shirt that was half that old, and was standing in an A&W washroom didn’t matter.    
  
“Yeah. Sure.” Adam smiled.   
  
Shiro led him out of the bathroom with one hand in his and a grin on his face.   
  


* * *

  
  
“He’s amazing-“   
  
“He’s burning your egg.”   
  
“He’s literally perfect look at his-“   
  
“Adam he’s going to hurt himself.”   
  
“Takashi is perfectly capable of fending for himself in a kitchen, he only blew up a few beakers-“   
  
Then the fire alarm went off.    
  
Adam and Ben shot back into the kitchen, where Shiro had turned around, face nearly _completely_ swallowed in embarrassed blush.    
  
“Is something burning?!” Adam demanded, worried. Point number three regarding Takashi Shirogane had only become more relevant in the two weeks he had dated the guy for real.   
  
Shiro leaned on the counter with a wary smile, even as smoke rose from behind him. Just in front of his arms was a plate of bacon and eggs. Or, what Adam assumed was eggs, because they were _super_ burned. The bacon looked undercooked.   
  
“Just my desire for you?” Shiro said with a weird, semi-sheepish grin.    
  
Silence for a moment as Ben snorted into his hand and Adam sighed heavily.   
  
“Babe the toaster is on fire.”   
  
“Oh shi-“   
  


* * *

  
  
Dating Takashi Shirogane was not what Adam expected. He had expected cuddly moments, bad kisses, some Garrison romance, but he didn’t get that much.   
  
Because the guy was _so_ dumb sometimes.   
  
Admittedly, the month and a bit he had spent with Shiro was great. He hadn’t made it to fifth base yet, a disappointment, but a welcome refresh from his pioneering of every gay dick in the Garrison.   
  
Plus, Shiro was sweet. He showed up early sometimes, walked Adam to class. Often he brought coffee. In the evenings, Adam found himself in Shiro’s dorm, cooking for the guy who could buy decent food, but had no idea how to actually cook.   
  
“When did you become a fucking domestic?” Ben asked him one day.   
  
“When Takashi became my boyfriend. Duh.” Adam shrugged.   
  
Casey snorted from the other side of the couch. “I think it’s sweet. Better than us having to hear it.”   
  
“You’ve got me there.” Adam shrugged, shutting his laptop as he finished up the last paper he had before homecoming.    
  
Garrison’s homecoming wasn’t like most. First off, it wasn’t actually called homecoming. It was called ‘Pilot Student’s Song and Dance’, and only the advanced students could come. Second, you could drink, providing you got a signed letter from a parent that you could.   
  
Adam had forged his dad’s signature like the man had taught him years ago, and then put down Uncle Quin’s number. The guy was already down for it, he knew.   
  
No student called it the ‘Pilot Student’s Song and Dance’ because that made it sound like a kindergarten thing.   
  
“...Do you think Takashi knows I’m taking him?” Adam asked abruptly, eyes wide.   
  
“Dude, you’re dating. He knows you’re taking him.” Ben stated.   
  
“I should ask him to homecoming.” Adam groaned. “Make it official.”   
  
“Then ask him to homecoming.” Casey informed with a shrug. “You’re already dating him. He probably assumed you were.”   
  
“Have you _met_ Takashi?”   


A beat of silence.   
  
“Given. So bring him one of those things all of the daters do, those holograms with the cute balloons.” Casey suggested, flipping to the next page in her textbook.    
  
“Ugh, no, that’s too mainstream.” Adam muttered, considering his options.   
  
She turned away from her book, seemingly resigned to be in the conversation now. “Ok, so do a sound message. With the cute robot voice.”   
  
“Still not quite.” Adam said, then had a realization. “A poster!”   
  
“Yeah, the poster-screens, those would-“   
  
“No, Casey!” Adam grabbed her face, squishing her cheeks. “Like, paper and cardboard poster! That I can hold!”   
  
“...I mean... when you said not mainstream... nobody’s done that in ages.” Casey mumbled through squished cheeks.    
  
“That’s why it’s perfect! I know just what to do!” Adam grinned, trotting off with a spring in his step. He had a brilliantly devilish plan.   
  


* * *

  
  
_Oh, Iverson’s here._ Adam thought as he led Rowan across the campus, weird pants chafing his bare legs. Shiro was talking to the perpetually scowling teacher, with a few other students listening in.   
  
He didn’t care though. Takashi was his, and goddamn it, he was going to prove it.    
  
When they finally got in range of the pair, Adam pulled the sign out from under his arm, nodded to Rowan, and shouted, “HEY TAKASHI!”    
  
Both Shiro and Iverson’s heads snapped to stare at Adam.    
  
‘Careless Whisper’ started blaring through every announcement speaker that Rowan could get under his control, at the same time that Adam grabbed a handful of his pants and tore them off, standing loud and proud in nothing but bedazzled booty shorts and his Garrison jacket, holding up his sign.   
  
That read, ‘Can I eat your ass @ homecoming?’ in bold letters.   
  
_I’m a fucking genius_. Adam thought.   
  
Everyone in range had stopped as they stared at this, _event_. Shiro’s face was slowly getting redder with every second, even as Iverson’s eyes narrowed, lips going tight.    
  
“Uh... Yes.” Shiro said with an embarrassed smile. He looked like he was about to light on fire, blushing as hard as he was.   
  
Jumping into the air with a cheer, Adam sprinted over to hug his boyfriend, dropping his sign in the process.    
  
Every other student and several teachers in the immediate area were calling as well, or clapping, or laughing.    
  
Iverson nodded to Shiro. “We’ll... finish our discussion later.” Then turned and walked off.   
  
The music shut off as Rowan came closer, holding his phone and Adam’s sign, taking a quick picture as instructed, just as Adam turned Shiro’s face toward him to kiss. “You’re the best boyfriend.”   
  
“You’re the worst. A poster board. In the middle of _quad_ Adam, really?” Shiro asked, but he was smiling, with his arms around Adam’s hips.    
  
“It had to be done.” Adam shrugged. He would apologize for nothing.   
  
The quizzical head-tilt he got from Shiro was pretty funny. “...Adam, you’re my boyfriend. I thought that we’d be going together anyway.”   
  
“...Motherfuck-“   
  


* * *

  
  
“...I can’t believe we graduate in a few months.” Shiro whispered. It took Adam’s sleepy brain a few minutes to register that, from where he was laying between his boyfriend’s legs, using his upper body as a gigantic pillow. _Shiro titties are comfortable._   
  
“W’ve been studying for it f’rever.” Adam mumbled. He was almost asleep, because his boyfriend was warm. Adam liked to be completely wrapped up in a blanket, like a sleeping bag basically, but with a body pillow.    
  
Turned out, Shiro was a furnace. So Adam could just cuddle him instead of the body pillow.   
  
Speaking of which, Shiro’s hand landed in Adam’s hair absentmindedly. “Yeah, I know, but it’s just... been so long.”   
  
“I’ll be a teacher now.” Adam replied, sinking back slightly into Shiro again. He never thought he’d be this sappy. He was supposed to be the hoe who died with his cats eating his aged corpse. “Y’ get to fly.”   
  
But honestly? Adam would way rather stay against Shiro’s chest.    
  
The laugh Shiro made felt real, and grounding, and it vibrated all through Adam’s lungs, making him smile too. “We do.” Shiro agreed.    
  
They went to bed 20 minutes later, long after Adam had fallen asleep.    


* * *

  
  
A month before their graduation, Shiro came into Adam’s dorm with a letter, smiling like he was four seconds from exploding. “Adam, they gave me a letter of recommendation!”   
  
“For?” Adam asked, glancing up from Doom.   
  
“Piloting!” Shiro cheered.   
  
Turning to stare, Adam tilted his head. “Aren’t you already going into piloting?”   
  
“Yes, but now I might get called out on _actual missions_!” Shiro said, landing on the couch beside him. Adam was excited for him, really, but he had to beat this level of Doom. “It’s going to be- What are you _playing_?”   
  
“Doom.” Adam said. He was glad that Shiro had gotten progressively less of a dumbass as time went on. Probably result of dating Adam.   
  
“Looks ancient.” Shiro murmured, watching him as he shot another Imp down. “...So yeah. I’ll get to be on actual spaceflight.”   
  
“That’s wonderful babe.” Turning away from his game for a split second, Adam kissed Shiro’s forehead before returning to gunning down some sons of bitches. Shiro grinned like he was the luckiest guy in the world. Which he probably was. Had you seen his boyfriend?   
  


* * *

  
  
First day, in the teacher’s lounge, and Adam had been hungry. It was finally second break, and Adam was on his sixth cup of coffee. _Fuck children._ He though off-handedly, then winced, and corrected himself. _Not literally._   
  
Shiro came in and Adam just about started ranting about his classes, except that the mildly irritated expression on Shiro’s face said that would not be very welcomed.   
  
“Babe...” Shiro began, turning toward Adam with narrowed eyes. “...Did you eat my lunch?”   
  
With another sip of his coffee, Adam glanced to Shiro. “To be fair, I did make it.”   
  
He was not expecting Shiro’s hand to snap out around his tie and drag him down slightly, glaring up at him with a mild blush. He was also not expecting it to be that _fucking hot_.   
  
“Whoa there big guy...” He murmured, feeling his own face heat a bit.    
  
“I am _hangry_ Adam.” Shiro rumbled, and Adam immediately decided that hangry Shiro was his kink. “I am about four seconds from taking you on that table.”   
  
Ok, hangry Shiro was _definitely_ his kink.   
  
“Oh my God in Heaven, _do-fucking-not_.” Hartway said from the back corner. She was retiring in two years, but for the moment, she was one of the oldest teachers in the Garrison. “Christ, here.” She slapped ten dollars on the counter beside Shiro, who stared. “Go buy yourself some food. God. No debauchery in the teacher’s lounge.”   
  
There was a long few seconds as Shiro looked at the money. Adam snorted slightly. No way would Shiro pass up a chance at his boyfriend for _food-_   
  
“Takashi!” Adam shouted as the other man let him go, snatched the cash, and ran out. “You’re evil.” He told Hartway.   
  
She only winked. “Born that way, honey.”   
  


* * *

  
  
Coming home later than his boyfriend was nice, because then he could do shit like this.   
  
With grabby hands, Adam snuck up on the couch, grinning like an idiot. “Takashi get those tits out.”   
  
“Adam what the fuck-“ Shiro began, spinning around as Adam crawled over the arm of their couch, still making clawed hands. He yelped when Adam slid his cold hands under Shiro’s shirt, making the other guy jump. “Jesus, your fingers are like fucking _ice_ -”   
  
Humming, Adam lay his head on his boyfriend’s _arguably thick_ chest. “Titties.”   
  
Despite the love that Adam was lavishing upon his boyfriend, Shiro did not appreciate it, the bastard. “Your hands are so _cold_ , stop touching my bare chest!”   
  
“Are you rejecting me, Takashi?” Adam sat up, affronted.    
  
“Wait, no-“   
  
“I cannot fucking believe this, I offer you my body,“   
  
“Adam no-“   
  
“And you shun me like this, can you believe your ungrateful ass...”   
  
“Adam-“   
  
“On top of that, you have the nerve to call _my_ hands cold, whilst your chest is so clearly a gift unto man that is built for grating cheese on those abs and cooking eggs on your pecs, but I cannot use it to warm my freezing fingers-“   
  
“A-Adam...” Shiro was laughing, tears practically coming out of his eyes.   
  
“After spending the day _slaving away_ -“   
  
“Oh God-“   
  
“Just so that we can afford the _delicious food_ that I buy and cook, how ungrateful can one man get? I am not your housemaid, Takashi! I’m a free, independent woman who don’t need no man!”   
  
Shiro was useless, laughing so hard with his head back as Adam could only grin at him, pleased he could make him laugh like this.    
  
“You’re _literally_ a disaster.” He told the still-giggling Shiro.   
  
The shorter man trapped underneath him shook his head. “No-ho-ho! I’m _your_ disaster!”   
  
“Given.”   
  


* * *

  
  
So, Adam may have fucked up.   
  
He knew Spanish, but that was not the point, because, after hearing intense Spanish ranting from across the running field, he was greeted by Tyler Keaton, one of his least favourite students, with tears in his eyes.   
  
Now, Adam didn’t like Tyler for a few reasons. One, the 14 year old was a fucking prude. Two, he was a notorious tattletale. Three, he had no concept of when he was being politely told to go fuck himself.   
  
“Mr. West, he called me the b-word!” Tyler blubbered, staring at Adam as the other boy, a short, Cuban-looking tan kid with long limbs and blue eyes, walked up with his arms folded.   
  
The little rat looked to the second kid, then Adam, like he was expecting Adam to take his side. _Which,_ Adam thought as he sighed _, is what I probably need to do, being the teacher..._   
  
Then the Cuban kid fired Tyler such a look of absolute, deadass, cold and cutting rage, before announcing bitterly, “Motherfucker doesn’t start with a _‘b’_.”   
  
Adam coughed, spinning away to hide his laughter as he tried to compose himself to fix this situation. “O-oh God, ok... Uh...” He turned toward the gym teacher. “Mrs... Uh, Reilly, can you handle... uh, Mr. Keaton here, I believe I need to talk to um...” Then he pulled the other kid off the field and inside, all the while the kid looking like he was going to freak out, gone pale and trapped-looking.   
  
The instant they were inside, Adam _lost it_.   
  
He was leaning against the wall laughing so hard that he was crying.    
  
The instant that he was recovered, he turned to the kid who was warily examining him. “Oh my... my God.”   
  
“Does... this mean I’m in trouble?”   
  
“Ok, how about...” Adam took another gasp of air. “How about you tell me what happened?”   
  
The kid immediately launched into a rant, detailing that Tyler was being an ‘ignorant slut’ again, so he had started shouting and called him ‘hijo de puta’, which apparently, Tyler thought meant ‘bitch’.   
  
Adam was back to laughing again within thirty seconds. “Oh-ok... How about we m-make a deal.” He whispered, choking his laughter back.   
  
The kid waited for a moment.   
  
“How about you don’t call anyone any more names in Spanish, because they’re ignorant, and you don’t get in trouble.”    
  
There was a pause. “...Sure.” He nodded, looking a little more confident now.   
  
“I like you.” Adam said abruptly, grinning. “You’re bold. What’s your name?”   
  
“Lance. McClain.”   
  
“You’re funky. Want to learn how to shoot a gun?” He questioned.    
  
The kid’s face lit up like Adam had just said he was Santa Claus. “Yes please!”   
  


* * *

  
  
“Hey, babe, I’m home...” Adam called into the apartment, putting his keys in the glass bowl beside the door.   
  
Almost immediately, Shiro slid into the doorway. “Hi Adam, hi, Adam, hi, Adam... Hi.”   
  
That wasn’t suspicious. At all. “...Hi... Takashi? What’s up?”   
  
“Nothing!” Shiro exclaimed, grinning in that weird way that said something was definitely up.   
  
“...Uh huh.” Adam replied sceptically, pushing past his boyfriend into the kitchen, and...   
  
Catching sight of the small, thin boy with an oversized jacket and bandaids on his face, looking up at him through dark bangs.    
  
“...Takashi. Sweetheart.” He twisted to the other man. “What the fuck?”   
  
“This isn’t what it looks like!”   
  
“It looks a lot like there’s some weird kid in our house!”   
  
“Then... it’s exactly what it looks like.” Shiro mumbled.   
  
Turning back to the kid, Adam gave him a cursory examination. He appeared a bit like an early delinquent. “...Where did you even get him? He looks like an escapee.”    
  
“Well... he stole my car...”   
  
“He did _WHAT_?! Takashi, what the hell is your damage!?”   
  


* * *

  
  
In retrospect, Adam knew that Shiro wanted a child, so it was no surprise that he had latched onto the small child who had stolen his car, run a few dozen miles with it, then gotten dragged back, only to be basically adopted by the guy who he had robbed.   
  
So, he understood if Keith - as was the demon’s _name_ \- was a little... off.   
  
Regardless, Keith didn’t have classes, Adam didn’t have to teach, and Shiro had a final physical before getting shot into space.    
  
Leaving Adam with Keith.   
  
<hey babe.> Shiro texted Adam about half an hour after he left. <Hope your day is memeingful.>   
  
Adam groaned. <I am literally in love with you, but this crap makes me want to punch you.>   
  
<Make sure Keith doesn’t have too much sugar after 5.> Shiro replied. After that, Adam turned off his phone, already planning on disregarding the prior message. “So.” Adam turned to Keith. “...How exactly do I deal with you?”   
  
“Uh...” Keith blinked at him. “...We leave each other alone?”   
  
“I thought I was supposed to keep you from dying.” Adam said. “Y’know, feed you and stuff before you can hunt on your own.”   
  
“...I thought I was supposed to keep you from doing weird things.”    
  
Brows furrowing, because _what the fuck, Takashi,_ Adam glanced to Keith. “...So, do we just start killing each other early?”   
  
Keith paused for a moment, shrugged. “Sure. But I call the lamp as a weapon.”   
  
“Sold. I get the couch cushions.”   
  


* * *

  
  
Actually, Kieth was a little like a younger, crazier Shiro with a knife.   
  
How he got the knife, Adam wasn’t sure, but the kid didn’t leave home without it.    
  
He actually appreciated Adam’s exotic food, though Adam wasn’t sure if that was because Keith would literally eat _anything_ , or if he actually enjoyed it. Regardless, Keith ate the food and Adam took it as a compliment.   
  
“C’mon Keith.” Adam said as the kid walked past the hallway. “We’re going out.”   
  
“...ok.” Keith turned, and followed Adam. “Where?”   
  
“We’re going shopping.” Adam stated. Because they were.   
  
At the store, Adam basically handed Keith a list and a cart, and followed him while on his phone. Suddenly he understood how useful having a child could be. Adam didn’t even need to do anything.   
  
“Can we get ice cream?” Keith questioned.    
  
“Fuck it. Get some ice cream.” Adam shrugged, barely glancing away from his game.    
  
He didn’t catch Keith’s grin.   
  


* * *

  
  
Shiro came home a bit after 6, to Adam and Keith sitting in the front room with nothing destroyed, nothing burned, and nothing ruined. Adam was rather pleased with the day.   
  
“...What happened today?” He asked, sounding suspicious as he glared between them.   
  
“Nothing at all, babe.” Adam said from where he was watching Netflix. Below him, on the floor but leaning on the couch, was Keith, with the bucket of ice cream Adam had let him have. “Shh. We’re watching the Office.”    
  
Shiro seemed satisfied, then abruptly gasped from behind Adam. “KEITH PUT THAT DOWN!” He shouted. Keith dropped the ice cream when he jumped, one hand falling to the knife on his hip.    
  
“Takashi, _Jesus_ , sweetheart, the fuck?!” Adam exclaimed, pausing Netflix. “Warning?”   
  
His boyfriend had knelt by the ice cream, quick to scoop it up and slap the lid on it. “Keith’s lactose intolerant!”   
  
The boy cringed, then slowly looked Adam in the face. Like he was guilty.   
  
Adam let him squirm for a few seconds, assessing the situation. “...Well, humans can’t achieve immortality anyway and we’re all destined to be forgotten. Keith, tell God you’ll see him in hell.” Adam said.   
  
Keith’s face instantly brightened, even as Shiro glared. “For _fuck’s sake_ , Adam!”   
  


* * *

  
  
It was a few days later when Adam was in the kitchen, making food, when he heard Keith and Shiro talking.   
  
“All my students relate to Adam more than me!” Shiro groaned. “Why? How? I’m cooler than him.” He muttered. Adam almost burst out laughing. “Keith, what’s the coolest part about me?”   
  
At that second, Keith walked over and leaned on the entrance of the kitchen. “Your boyfriend.” He muttered darkly, holding a lighter under an assignment that Shiro had failed him on.   
  
Adam didn’t like Keith, persay. But God, somehow, this kid was on his good side.   
  
Regardless of Shiro being called out though, Adam did get an excuse to get down and dirty with his boyfriend that night.   
  
It was _great_. They had very few chances to do that anymore with Keith in the house, but tonight he was supposedly listening to a lecture of some kind, and when they said they were going to bed early, Keith was oblivious.    
  
Adam knew Lance would’ve guessed instantly, but he also knew Lance would’ve put in his headphones and ignored it. Sometimes, Adam wished Shiro found a less stupid child.   
  
Because when Shiro was on top of him and Adam was about four seconds from burning up, and the door opened, both of them froze.    
  
Keith, childlike, 13 year old Keith, stared at them from the doorway. “I heard screaming? What are you two doing?”   
  
There was a long, long silence as Adam tried not to be an enormous bitch and just tell Keith. Then he compromised, with something he _knew_ Keith would respect.    
  
“We’re training.” Adam stated just as Shiro opened his mouth. The man had the nerve to gape at him, like he was an idiot.   
  
Keith blinked, then nodded. “Ok. I won’t interrupt.” He stated. Turning around and walking out, Keith even _closed the door_ as he left.    
  
“...Holy _shit_.”   
  
“I can’t believe that worked.” Adam murmured, staring at the door for a few more seconds. “...Takashi, your kid is _so_ fucking stupid.”   
  
Shiro swore in Korean. “...Yeah. No kidding.”   
  
It only took Adam one wiggle to remind Shiro of where they were. After that, it was all well and good.


	3. You Can Bet your Firm but Soft Ass I Miss You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some sadder stuff. Because despite having a hot boyfriend, Adam's life was still a mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STILL STUPID

Midwinter, Christmas Eve, and Adam was stranded. Shiro was in the middle of an important meeting, Adam was out of the Garrison’s range of pickup. AAA refused to come get him, when it was _midday_ on Christmas Eve, and the cops weren’t coming unless his life was in danger.   
  
Not to mention, grumpy Keith in his back seat.    
  
Adam got back into the car with a sigh. “Is anybody coming?” Keith asked.    
  
“Of course fucking not, they don’t give a shit.” Adam muttered in reply. Then he paused, considered something. “Wait, I think I have one more option.” He mumbled, pulling out his phone again. “Hey, can I get a ride from someone out at the turnpike on 59th and Garrison Road? Yeah, out by the edge of the field. My car’s stranded, my partner can’t come get me...”   
  
A very nice man with an Indian accent immediately responded. “Of course sir! I’ll be right there! I have my dog with me, I hope that’s alright.”   
  
“That’s perfectly fine.” Adam chuckled when the grumpy Keith in his back seat brightened.    
  


* * *

  
  
The Uber was there in five minutes.   
  
It wasn’t a dog.   
  
The man had a fucking _cheetah_ in his passenger seat.    
  
Keith gasped when he saw the big, golden and black cat, dodging Adam’s hand to drag him back, immediately going to rub the cat, who seemed to be surprised at the sudden love bestowed upon him.    
  
Sliding into the back seat, as far away from the cat as he could get, Adam turned to the driver. “Can you get us to the Garrison facility?” He asked.    
  
“Of course sir!” The man smiled, and started off. Keith didn’t quit rubbing the cat the whole time.   
  
After paying the man, and Keith petting the cheetah a few more times, they walked inside. “Can’t believe this. A cheetah.” Adam mumbled, calling in the Garrison pickup and practically ordering one poor intern to go get his fucking car.   
  
“He was soft.” Keith commented with a shrug as they walked inside. Practically lunging for the kitchen, Adam immediately pulled out the stuff to begin cooking, as he laid the groceries on the floor.    
  
“Gotta make a semblance of dinner...” Adam muttered, slapping the various foods he had brought or had in the fridge out on the counter. “Keith, ass over here!”   
  
“I will if you give me milk.”   
  
“No te dejaré hacer caca la noche que mis padres vienen al departamento! Ahora trae tu culo por aquí!” Adam barked, jabbing a finger at the floor.   
  
Keith’s eyes went wide and startled, seeming to get the urgency that Adam was throwing out as he darted over and stood next to Adam, exactly where the taller man had pointed.    
  
“Now stir this! Spill one drop and Takashi _won’t_ be able to save you.” He snarled, shoving a bowl into the kid’s hands.   
  
He didn’t spill even a tiny bit.   
  


* * *

 

  
It was a few hours later when there was a buzz at the ringer, Adam ordering Keith to ‘stir that damn gravy, do _not_ burn it’, as he walked over to the buzzer, pushing the button to receive the call.   
  
“Hey, Adam. Your uncle Quin and his family are here.” The door guy, Ken, said.    
  
“Send them up.” Adam told Ken, then turned away and went back to ensuring Keith was not burning the gravy. Shiro appeared in the kitchen in jeans and a t-shirt, gasping slightly at the sight of several dozen cookies, a small cooked turkey, and a number of sides.   
  
“What the hell did you _do_?” Shiro murmured. Two hours prior, he had returned completely drained from simulator training, and Adam insisted he had a shower and took a nap. Because he was the only fucking intelligent life form in the house.   
  
Shrugging and pulling Shiro over for a kiss, Adam groaned softly. “So glad it’s my Uncle Quin first. I came out to him.”   
  
“...Adam.” Shiro paused. “...Did you ever exactly tell anyone else in your family?”   
  
Adam realized he was a fucking disaster. He knew that before, but... Damn.   
  
“...Oh fuck.”   
  
“Shit, Adam, what do I do?”    
  
Then there was a knock at the door, and Adam glared at Keith once more. The little emo punk turned away, shy. “Burn that fuckin’ gravy, demonio. I fuckin’ dare you.” Adam growled, before opening the door. “Uncle Quin!” He said cheerily.   
  
“Cadet Adam!” The older man called, immediately wrapping Adam in a hug. “Or is it Professor Adam now?”   
  
He laughed, just as Shiro warily peeked around the corner. “It’s professor. Come on in, guys.” He stepped back, waving for Shiro to join him.   
  
Mary was tall, with long, dark hair.    
  
Alice had indeed stagnated at about 15, but had just put on muscle. And she had cut off her hair. She looked a lot like a beefy, short guy.   
  
Donnie had his wife and kid with him, and Adam shook hands with Elise, before Shiro stepped out of the side. “Hi. My name’s Takashi, but most people call me Shiro.”    
  
“Good to meet you, Shiro.” Uncle Quin shook his hand. “I see Adam finally managed to score.”   
  
“What?! Uncle Quin-“    
  
The older man burst out laughing, then shook his head. “Adam, you-“   
  
“Uh, Adam? Is the gravy done now?” Kieth called. Adam walked back in, pushed the gravy off the burner, and nodded to Keith.   
  
“It’s done. You’re free.” He said, and Keith almost immediately darted out of the kitchen...   
  
And into the direct line of fire, where part of Adam’s family were talking to Shiro.   
  
Dead silence.    
  
“...Adam, you have a kid?” Uncle Quin gasped.    
  
“No, I do not-“   
  
“Well, technically...” Shiro murmured.   
  
“Don’t you start!”   
  
“Oh. Ok.” Keith shrugged.   
  
“Both of you will die in your sleep.”   
  


* * *

  
  
The cousins had surrounded a very awkward Keith, dragging him into their chatter. Fortunately, Alice seemed to be taking pity on him and talking about knives.    
  
About five minutes later, Keith was showing Alice his knife and Alice was teaching him the basics of forging. Mary looked bored, but Keith looked super engaged.   
  
“She’s crazy, but she won’t hurt him.” Quin reassured a wary-looking Shiro.    
  
Turning back to them, and his _boyfriend_ \- who was patiently leaning on his shoulder - Shiro smiled. “Well, yeah. He’s... He’s normally pretty awkward.”   
  
Then there was a knock and Adam got back up to answer it.   
  
When it was his parents, siblings and other cousins, Adam honestly thought about closing the door. Because would they accept him? For not telling them about being both gay, and dating someone for a lot of years?   
  
“Hey guys.” He greeted instead, laughing. “Who let you in here?” He questioned with a grin.   
  
“Your doorguy thought we were hilarious.” Tori smirked. “Now let us in, damnit.”    
  
“Tori, no swearing in-“   
  
“Ah ah ah!” Adam waved off his mom. “It’s my house. Swear all you fuckin’ like.”    
  
The twins and Tori grinned like it was already Christmas, as Marie glared. “So big and grown now, hm? Swearing in your own house.” She smiled after that though, and hugged him.   
  
“I pay bills, I get to swear.” Adam shrugged, returning the hug as he led everyone into the now-cramped apartment.    
  
“I like independent Adam.” Tori’s comment prompted Shiro to laugh from the other room.   
  
Rolling his eyes, Adam leaned back to glare at Shiro. “Takashi, don’t mock me. You’re literally so oblivious.”   
  
“Apparently.” Shiro sighed.    
  
“You have a roommate?” Marie asked, looking at him quizzically.   
  
Adam smiled warily, and attempted to bring them into the main room without further questions. About ten minutes later, everyone was somewhat arranged in the main room, glancing between Keith and Shiro.   
  
“Thanks for letting us barge into your home tonight, Shiro.” Dillon said, smiling at the man.    
  
“Adam’s family? Anytime.” Shiro nodded. _God, I love him_. Adam thought, glancing at him. He was so grateful for this man. Who he loved.    
  
About ten minutes later, the awkward questions were getting a little weird. Like, why Adam was sitting close to Shiro. And how they met.    
  
And where Keith had come from.    
  
Which was when Keith turned toward the family and gave a soft nod. “Shiro took me in. I guess, so did Adam, because they were already dating.” And them he went back to talking about knives.    
  
Adam and Shiro went silent. “...surprise?” Adam said.   
  


* * *

  
  
Nearly six months after the fabulously hilarious disaster/celebration that was the Christmas dinner, and Shiro was sleeping under a blanket on the couch, breathing a little laboured.    
  
He had a muscle attack about five hours ago, went to the hospital that had called Adam, and then had finally been signed out by Adam himself, taken home, and let rest.   
  
This was the most stressful end of Adam’s otherwise spectacular life.    
  
When Shiro went en-mission, he let Keith do whatever he wanted, within limits. Go to school, actually do your homework, and don’t get arrested were Adam’s rules. Beyond that, anything Keith did, was at his own consequence.   
  
Shiro had actually left Adam with bail money when Keith was 14.    
  
He probably should’ve been more worried about the kid sobbing over a toilet that year, after buying a tub of chocolate ice cream and binging about three-quarters of it over several seasons of the show ‘Top Gear’, in one weekend.   
  
The night Adam spent rubbing Keith’s back in the bathroom was forever good guilt fodder.    
  
“Hey, babe.” Adam murmured as he knelt beside Shiro’s head, gently petting one hand through his hair, wondering if he could see those grey eyes open- _Oh thank God._ He thought when Shiro opened his eyes halfway, tiredly staring back at him. “Hey...”    
  
“...h’y.” Shiro mumbled, turning his head a little more into the pillow. There were few things Adam truly hated, not in any particular order.   
  
Number one, geese. A goose bit him once for helping a gosling, so Adam figured that was how it was going to be.    
  
Number two, Ferris Wheels. Fuck those things in particular.   
  
Number three, seeing Shiro like this.   
  
“Can you wake up for a second? I made that soup you like.” Adam asked. Once again, Shiro blinked awake and looked at him.    
  
Then Shiro’s hand came up and gently rested on his cheek. “Y’r perfect. D’ you kn’w that?” He murmured. Adam could feel his heart stick in his throat. “...I l’ve you.”   
  
Grabbing the hand Shiro had left on his cheek, Adam gently held his hand, thumb rubbing soft circles into Shiro’s palm. “I love you too. So much.” He whispered.   
  
“W’ should g’t married.” Shiro stated.    
  
Adam almost burst into tears. “Y-yes. Of course. We can, but you need to get better first, ok?” He whispered.   
  
After considering that for a moment, Shiro nodded. “...’kay. Y’r perfect.” He repeated, then his hand went still and his head dropped to the pillow, breathing easing out as he lapsed back into sleep.    
  
Adam took Shiro’s hand off his jaw-slash-neck, and for a moment just sat there, touching Shiro’s knuckles to his forehead before kissing them. He just about jumped out of his skin when prickly, 15-year-old Keith leaned into him (where did he even _come_ from?) and seemed to just stare at Shiro as well.    
  
It took a moment for Adam to put an arm around Keith, and for their little family to sit there silently, some small strand of love bonding the three of them together.    
  
Even demon Keith.   
  


* * *

  
  
Adam called in sick, got Keith to classes, then went off-base. He went to the first jewelry store on Google Maps. Walking up to the front with a single-minded determination, Adam cleared his throat to the man behind the counter.    
  
“Hello sir.” The man smiled. “How can I help you today?”   
  
“I’m uh... looking for engagement rings.” Adam stated.    
  
The man immediately gasped. “Oh, how lovely! Who’s the lucky lady? What colours does she like?”   
  
“...Can I see the like, couple’s matching stuff, first?” Adam asked. He was an awkward human. He was also tired. He was too gay to be inconvenienced, so he was _going_ to just go with this older guy thinking his soon-to-be fiancé was a girl.   
  
“So, the men’s rings are all rather simple, but the woman’s are-“   
  
And Adam was done.   
  
He bounced through about fourteen of the places before he finally found one that had more male engagement rings. He talked to the very kind older man behind the counter who not only congratulated him, but pulled out some of the other rings for Adam to look at. Technically women’s rings, but nice, smooth band rings.   
  
Adam hadn’t yet found one that he loved, but finally he paused, and smirked at one of them on the stand.    
  
“What about that one?”   
  
“Excellent, here, let me pull that out...”   
  


* * *

  
  
“Hey Takashi.” Adam said one evening as they were laying on the couch, his feet on either side of Adam’s knees. “Do you think I could play some sort of important role at your wedding?”    
  
Shiro glanced up from his book, looking confused. “Adam, what-“   
  
“Like the groom?” He meant to whip the box out with a flourish, but instead it slipped out of his fingers, flew in a perfect arc, and smacked Shiro on the forehead before falling into the man’s lap. “Oh shit.” Adam hissed, trying to stretch forward to grab the small velvet box before Shiro did, but curse his inflexibility, he couldn’t. He’d need to talk to Lance about yoga again.    
  
Shiro’s mouth had dropped open, holding the box like it was some kind of delicate flower. “A-Adam, are you-“   
  
“Stop, give that back, I need to try again.” Adam kept trying to steal it from him.   
  
“Yes, oh God, yes!” Shiro lunged forward, tackling Adam into the back of the couch, seemingly set on kissing every square inch of his face. “Yes, yes, a thousand fucking times-“   
  
“Takashi, that was literally shit, I rescind, you’re not allowed to say yes.” Adam giggled, trying to push off the heavier man.   
  
“Too late!” Shiro said, slipping on the ring. It was a black band ring, with a rainbow centre ring. “It’s gorgeous.” He murmured, holding it out to admire.    
  
“You won’t even let me put it on, Takashi you absolute fucker-“    
  


* * *

  
  
Being engaged wasn’t that different from being boyfriends by this point.   
  
Keith had been happy for Shiro, but hadn’t stopped glaring at Adam since Shiro had showed him the ring.   
  
So Adam resigned himself to being forced to cook, and glared at every living moment while Keith was in the house.    
  
Annoying the child wasn’t as much fun as it had been when he didn’t have a fiancé who was definitely more affectionate than ever before, but Adam didn’t mind for the moment.    
  
Weird looks from his friends and fellow teachers when he limped in the day after he proposed were _definitely_ worth it, until Casey leaned over and mumbled “Wii remote?” in his ear.    
  
At that, Adam grabbed Shiro’s left wrist and held it out to Casey. “I’m now a committed man. Fuck off.”    
  
She burst out laughing, then patted his shoulder. “Hey, Ben! Jackie! Heads up, silver boyfriend, formerly silver medal, is now silver fiancé!”   
  
A few teachers whistled and clapped, congratulating the new pair, the girls _insisting_ upon seeing the ring. “That ring is extra gay.” Ben informed.    
  
“Thank God for that.” Adam said, pushing his shoulder. “Gotta show people his thick ass is mine.”   
  
Ben and Casey laughed. It was definitely a fun moment.   
  


* * *

  
  
Eight months later, and they fought.    
  
Neither yelled, neither shouted at the other, it was all just angry words thrown in cold whispers.    
  
And then Adam was alone.    
  
Keith had moved into the dorms, and now...   
  
Adam was alone.   
  
It was two weeks later, two weeks of shooting targets with Lance after classes, trying to call Keith, and hating himself, when he got a request to come in to command.    
  
“Look, Iverson, I’m not in the mood for some poor-“ He cut off when he noticed Iverson, one of the tech commanders, and Rowan sitting at a table. “What’s going on?”   
  
“...Sit down, Adam.” Iverson instructed.   
  
In shock at the softness of his voice, Adam sat. “...I swear to God, it’s all Casey’s fault.”   
  
“What?” Iverson blinked. Adam abruptly noticed that his one eye was shut and bandage.   
  
“Oh. Nevermind.” Adam nodded, gesturing for him to continue.   
  
With a sigh, he did. “...Adam, we wanted to tell you, before the public.” There was silence as Adam’s heart stopped. “There was a piloting error, and-“   
  
“No. No _fucking_ way.” He hissed.   
  
“Adam, we both know Shirogane was sick-“ The tech commander said softly.   
  
“That man could fly even with his limbs cut off.” Adam snarled. “No fucking way. Where’s Keith?”    
  
“Well... he began demanding to know why Shiro’s class had a new teacher-“   
  
“Un-be-fucking-lievable!” Adam shot to his feet. “You sent an elderly man, a gremlin, and _my ill fiancé_ into space and then tell me it’s a Goddamn _pilot error_?!” He shouted, slamming a hand on the table, glaring at Iverson intensely enough to make both Rowan and the tech commander jump slightly. “And to top it all off, you kicked out _Keith Kogane?!_ Where the _fuck_ is my fucking son?!” He barked.    
  
“Mr. West-“   
  
“No, nuh uh, you’re listenin’ to me now!” Adam barked. “Did you even call his guardian!? Namely, me?! Where is he now?!”   
  
“We... don’t know-“   
  
“Oh wonderful, you lost a _whole ass child_ , why am I fucking surprised!” Adam spun off the chair. “Tell my classes they’re cancelled for the day, I’ll be back tomorrow!” He barked, grabbing his coat from the back of the chair.    
  
“Adam, where are you-“   
  
“I’m going to find Keith, Goddamnit!”   
  


* * *

  
  
He didn’t find Keith.    
  
The next morning, he came into class, and there was no joking. He just told them their stuff and what to do. Then he let them do what they wanted for the rest of the class.   
  
After that, he went to the main office, ‘formally apologized’ to Iverson for his inappropriate behaviour (he meant not a word, but he wanted Iverson to keep him updated) the previous day, then snuck into an office, and got into the system.    
  
The first computer he checked had nothing. It took Adam all his self-control not to smash it.   
  


* * *

  
  
The second had nothing as well. It wasn’t until he aimed big and slid into Iverson’s office that he got something.   
  
Bits and pieces of a transmission. Some sort of voice telling someone _terrifying_ about primitive scientists...   
  
“Takashi.” Adam breathed.   
  
“Who the fuck are you?” A voice demanded. Adam jumped, turning to look at...    
  
Matt Holt’s smaller stunt double.    
  
“What the fuck.” Adam blinked at the guy. “Aren’t you that one kid in my class?”   
  
“You’re my teacher!” He gasped. “What are you doing here?”   
  
“Better question, what are you?” Adam demanded.    
  
Silence for a minute. “...Looking for aliens.”   
  
A longer silence. “...Same.” Adam said, shrugged, then turned back to the transmissions. He and _Gunderson_ looked at the recordings for ten minutes, trying to make sense as Gunderson took some notes on what the frequency was, and direction.   
  
Then they both shut it down and slipped out, unseen.    
  
“...Did we just become partners in crime?” Adam asked.   
  
“If I get caught, I’m throwing you under the bus.” Gunderson stated.    
  
“Fair enough.”   
  
Adam had a fiancé to find. Even if it killed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Adam... you have no idea...


	4. Be Gay, Eat Ass and Die (Don’t do the Last One)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone, please welcome Mr. Adam West, on the keys!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO
> 
> Please welcome Adam back to life!! This was a short little thing to hold you guys over until the third book!
> 
> It's super short, but yknow what? I hope you guys like me bringing Adam back. 
> 
> I always intended for him to come back, even before S8 was released. Now, I'm not here to shit on Voltron...
> 
> (Me, looking back to the S6 and S7 rewrite I've done: ...Seems about right)
> 
> Because tbh, seeing Shiro and Curtis kiss onscreen was one of the best moments of my 2018. Like, win for the community, right? A gay relationship, right there! ON THE SCREEN!!! OMFG
> 
> However, I found Curtis very forced, particularly because I didn't even know his name until I started looking for it. Like, tbh, couldn't we have even had Shiro and Curtis eating lunch in the background casually at some point??? Is that too much to ask???
> 
> Plus I like the Adam who lives in my head. He's chill but he's also a goddamn dumbass, and I love him. So, Shiro and Adam are a thing in this AU. 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy Adam's return, see you on the second.

“Let me get this straight...”    
  
Adam pushed his new glasses up his nose. The nosebridge was slick from fresh, unused plastic, and therefor, refused to stick to his greasy skin.   
  
Why was Adam’s perfect skin greasy? Because hospitals don’t allow exfoliation. And why is that? Because they’re cesspools of human consequence, something Adam learned on his last hospital trip.    
  
On one floor, a woman could be bringing a baby into this world, new life on a rebuilding Earth.    
  
On another floor, a Garrison cadet was probably getting a vintage wii remote removed from his ass. Why did Adam know this? Well, once upon a time, that had been him.   
  
“So, you fucked off to space when I _specifically_ told you not to, got _kidnapped_ by _aliens_ , lost... _Multiple_ arms, got involved in a _10,000_ year old _space war_ , adopted _three more kids_ , had _’your consciousness transplanted from the infinity of Voltron’s inner quintessence into the body of an evil clone of yourself’_ \- which are your fucking words by the way - and, to top it all off, you actually, _literally, DIED._ ”   
  
Silence for a good few seconds.   
  
“...Yes.”   
  
“I’m gonna fuckin’ kill him, right fuckin’ now, let me outta this bed goddamnit I’m gonna kick his ass-“   
  
“Adam, please sit still, puta, you’re gonna tear your stitches!”   
  
“Lance when the _fuck_ did you get that big?!”   
  


* * *

  
  
Voltron.    
  
_ Vol. Tron. _   
  
Voltron.    
  
What the fuck.   
  
Voltron.    
  
Oh, yeah, the gigantic mechanical Lions on the Garrison’s front lawn? Those were normal now.   
  
Adam had _no fucking clue_ what was going on.   
  
He remembered climbing into the ship, taking off to fight in a sky battle that they had no hope of winning. He remembered hearing his teammates cry out as the lasers hit them.   
  
Then he remembered his own ship blowing up.   
  
After that, it was all pretty hazy until he had a raspy tongue licking him, and he blinked awake to stare at...   
  
A fox... thing.    
  
It had been mostly white. Red-orange-violet markings were over it’s blue eyes, and... _Are those fucking wings?_   
  
Alien fox. What.   
  
It had managed to call the attention of someone - even as it stood on his legs with two dainty paws - by flaring it’s wings and making a bright hiss.    
  
“Hey, Ascua found a body!” The person had called, footsteps coming closer to them as the fox-thing leaned down, remarkably catlike, to lick Adam’s forehead. It hadn’t stopped until hands had landed on his body, the person gasping. “This guy’s still alive!!”    
  
He hadn’t remembered anything else, until he woke up in the hospital.   
  


* * *

  
  
Some developments in the absolute chaos that was Adam’s life, that was just steadily getting weirder.   
  
First off, Shiro’s stolen child? Now was bigger, tougher, and had a _Galra mark_. Why did he have one of those? Because his mother is a fucking _Galra_.   
  
Suddenly, the fact that Keith was half fuzzy purple alien that took over the universe made _so much sense_.   
  
Second off, Lance.   
  
Now there was a debacle.    
  
The guy was taller. Noticeably. He was also thinner. Concerningly. Scars too. He looked pretty good. Not hotter than Adam though. That was illegal.   
  
Third off, Shiro.    
  
_ Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeesus... _   
  
How did he get _hotter_?   
  
White hair, a scar he was going to have to punch someone for, muscles you could grate cheese on and a metal arm. Just floatin’ there. Fuck it.   
  
It was one morning when Lance stepped into the hospital room, in his ‘Paladin armour’, and sat beside Adam. “...I should’ve told you not to go to the aliens.”   
  
“Yeah, fuck it.” Adam shrugged.    
  
“I’m not kidding, Adam.” Lance sighed, looking remarkably uneasy. “...You’re pretty messed up.”   
  
“What makes you say that?”    
  
Lance scanned over the one side of his face. “...Well...”   
  
_Fuck. No. No no no._ “Lance, what’s on my face?”   
  
The kid winced, then picked up a mirror. “Well it’s the left-“   
  
Despite it hurting, Adam lunged up and grabbed the mirror, twisting it to look at-   
  
The gruesome burn and slash scars across his face, jaw, and shoulder. It covered his entire left arm, down to the wrist, only spots showing through where it didn’t manage to cut him to ribbons, or burn him like a bad barbecue.    
  
“...Oh fuck.” Adam whispered.   
  
“Adam, I know it’s not-“   
  
“I’m _hot_ like this.”   
  
There was silence for a moment.    
  
“...Christ, Adam...” Lance murmured, rubbing his face.   
  
“Well, don’t fault me!” He exclaimed, examining the reflection. “Damn. This is good.”   
  
“...You’re also... uh... Missing a leg.”   
  
Adam swept the blanket off, and yep. Yep he was. Above the knee too.    
  
“...God, I match Takashi now.”   
  
“Jesus _fucking_ Christ-“   
  


* * *

  
  
Shiro was apologetic.    
  
“Look, I know you didn’t want me to go to space, I just-“   
  
Adam let the words wash over him. There was so much meaning, but he was focusing on the feeling. On the fact that Shiro was worried for him. Over the fact that Shiro was apologizing to him. Over the fact that Shiro had left so that Adam wouldn’t have to watch him...   
  
He was worried about all this, when his hair was white and his toaster-lookin’-ass-arm was just floating there.   
  
“Takashi,” Adam finally called, interrupting. “Stop.”   
  
Shiro’s mouth snapped shut, looking contrite. “...I’m sorry.”   
  
“Stop fucking apologizing you big dumbass.” Adam growled, then sighed when Shiro flinched slightly. “Look, I looked for you. Everywhere. Probably enough to get fucking fired and incarcerated but fuck it. You went to space, and now you’re ok.” He shrugged. “...I’m still mad.”   
  
The bitch had the nerve to smile. “I figured you would be.”   
  
“Good. Because then you understand you’re not getting out of this alive.”   
  
That made Shiro go as white as his hair.   
  
Adam smirked. Up in the Atlas was going to be fun.   
  


* * *

  
  
“...Did you mean it?”    
  
The question broke the silence in the briefing room, where Shiro was tidying up.    
  
“What?” Shiro questioned.   
  
“Did you mean it when you said you left because you didn’t want me to watch you die.” Adam figured there was no better way to ask something than to just say it.    
  
The object in Shiro’s hand though, dropped to the floor with a clatter, flinching from him.   
  
There was a pregnant pause as Shiro clearly tried to find words, but failed. “Uh...”   
  
“Takashi, look.” Crutch ticking on the floor, Adam limped into the room and glared at the other. “This has been the weirdest two months. Like, not just... you bridal style carrying me ten minutes after we met, but... Voltron. What the fuck.” He said with a shrug. “So... I know we... broke up.” And didn’t _that_ sting to say? “But I at least...”   
  
“I did.” Voice low and uncertain, Shiro was glaring at the floor, far away from Adam. “...I did leave Earth, so you didn’t have to watch me die.” He muttered. “I mean, it was also about Kerberos, but...”   
  
“...Yeah, no, I get it. I get what you mean, I mean.” Adam nodded. It felt a little worse, knowing that. But also a little better.    
  
There was a pause.    
  
“...You never left your ring.”    
  
Glancing up, Adam met Shiro’s eyes. He hadn’t. Because he was still in love with the man. After Shiro ‘died’ up in space, he had never taken it off.    
  
“...No, I didn’t.” Adam used a thumb to spin the black ring. It had been scratched by the crash, but still wearable. “Yours is...”   
  
“Lost, somewhere in a Galra prison.” Shiro sighed. “I wish I could get it back.”   
  
That made Adam pause. “...Why?”   
  
“...Well, I hoped that... That you and I could... Try... Again?”   
  
Adam froze. So many things both wrong and right with that came into his head. He wanted it though. So badly.    
  
“Sure, but...Let’s just take it slow. See if we really are ok.” Adam said.    
  
Shiro nodded. “That sounds good.”   
  
When he flashed an awkward smile and both thumbs up with that _floating fucking arm_ , Adam sighed mentally.    
  
He was gone again, for the same boy, years later.    
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me, looking at the notes for S8: Well, what do the people want? 
> 
> Me @ me: You should ask
> 
> Me: That's a great idea.
> 
> SO... You guys can give me suggestions for random scenes or things you want to see in Trillions of Lights in the Sky! 
> 
> Some rules:  
> -Lance and Keith arc is already planned, though you can give me suggestions for cute shit you want me to do  
> -S8 plot arc is already planned, and it won't end like S8 did, promise.  
> -Rachel (Lance's sister) has a plotline! No, I won't tell you what it is ;)
> 
> But thats basically it yep 
> 
> Ask away! Either discord me at Spiralled Fury#9254 or email me at Spyrofury767@gmail.com
> 
> Alternatively, leave me a comment down there. Thanks bois.

**Author's Note:**

> This is just... MAN FUCK THIS ITS SO STUPID


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